Tootsie Pops

It started innocently enough...while I tried to finish my blog a few days ago, my favorite distraction desired my attention. I gladly gave it to him, but I told him that he would have to pay dearly for that later. He asked me for the link to my blog, and I said no. He’s a flirt and a worthy adversary; in fact, he knows exactly how to play with me.

I told him that for interrupting me the punishment of a ‘tickle fest’ might be in order. It may sound like fun, but tickling is torture for me---I hate it. And one of the little known facts about me is that I have a traveling tickle spot. Yes, it’s true, it travels. It’s about 5 inches in diameter and I never know where it’s going to show up or when.

I hadn’t heard from M. in a day and he wrote this morning that he thought that I might be mad at him…somehow we had missed a few of each other’s emails. We sorted it out and he responded:
‘Stupid misunderstanding on my part…I am on my knees begging forgiveness…. ; ) I am hoping you can picture the visual…I have to have it out the door by 10 AM… After that, let the tickle fest begin!!

Ohhh… one more thing.. Before the tickle fest begins, I will have to tie you to the bed with several of my silk ties… I hope you are not too ticklish… otherwise….. hmmmmmmm…’

I let him handle business, but I had noticed that my name was 'googled'—hot linked to my blog and I asked if he had done it. His answer was yes.

He wrote: ‘It was just the fact that you were writing a blog, made me want to read it… The fact that you wouldn’t give me the address, made me want to read it even more… you write very well and it kept my interest. I read back about a week’s worth.. Very “Sex in the City” vibe… which I was a fan of, btw… Anyway, I just got back from negotiating a job and should be here for the rest of the afternoon… Just one more question…. Silk ties or handcuffs??’

Me: ‘There isn't a chance I'd let you, or anyone else tie me...haven't you realized by now that I'm a feral female? It's rare that a man can catch wild monkey...sometimes I've been described as a lone wolf...although I particularly see myself at as a cat...I could lie in the sun and warm myself all day with breaks of just a stretch like a cat; cross my path while I'm lounging, and it’s a curt glance of ‘oh, it’s you’ then back to what I was doing..

And thanks for the SITC complement...it's not intentional; infact without ever reading my writing before, a guy that I know once said to me 'you're like one of those cool Sex and the City chicks and so different from how I remembered you all of those years ago.'

Him: ‘Ohhh… You’re getting tied, young lady… You just don’t know it yet.. You can be whatever you want to be, but you will be tied and tickled until you can stand no more… and it is at that point I will provide more… Your powers are useless against me…’

Me: ‘No sir, you are very much mistaken. Has your time on the site not taught you that I cannot be constrained? But for your edification, I HATE to be tickled. Massaged and caressed all day long yes, please and thank--but tickled? That’s torture...AND I'm reserving that special hell for you...’

Him: Ohhh.. and you haven’t been able to be restrained… only because you haven’t met someone like me… You will succumb and agree to be tied down… and then tickled… but just for a few minutes… just enough to aggravate you.. .and then you will be massaged and caressed to make up for the tickling… It will only leave you begging for more… But you only get more if you are good… REALLY good…’

Me: ‘Again, you ask for the impossible from me...I will never agree to your demands!’

Him: ‘Not impossible… improbable, perhaps… but not impossible…ohhh… and you WILL agree to my demands….. You will see…. Just the thought of being tied down and helpless… helpless to stop me unbuttoning one button at a time…. Slowly sliding a zipper down… you will see… ‘

Me: ‘There aren't enough Brazilian jiu jitsu moves on the planet to have me succumb...within me courses the blood of a warrior...”

Him: ‘Warriors have vulnerabilities… and I am an expert at identifying them… But to answer your first remark, there ARE enough BJJ moves to make you succumb… multiple times… You will willingly agree to be tied down and be subjected to what I have to offer…”

Me: ‘N E V E R !!!’

Him: ‘Your mouth says never, but your quivering body says, yes, yes, yes…’

Me: ‘Lol...you are a brat.’

Him: ‘Now you realize where I got my nickname… You are like a tootsie-pop… hard on the outside, but very soft on the inside… You will be begging me to tie you down…. Trust me…’ ‘Just one question… How many licks to get to the center of a tootsie-pop?? ; P’

Me: Oh my!

Him: ‘I guess I will have to find out for myself, huh??’

Me: ‘Perhaps.’

[And there you have it. Smack dab in the middle of my flirtation; a new found respect for a man who actually sees me. I’ve been described similarly before…once as an Oreo cookie…hard on the outside and sweet, soft and mushy inside…once I was described as inside-out...that a woman should be soft on the outside and hard on the inside and I was the complete opposite.]

Knowing that he reads my blog…

Him: ‘Today’s entry was a very good read.. I enjoyed it… It amazes me how much thought you put into the simplest things in life… and I think THAT is what gets you the hate on the site.. Most are younger males and think with their smaller head… What am I saying?? I do too…lol… You go into the dynamics between men and women… and that can be a very gray area… But the male of the species only thinks things are black or white… It would be comparable to back in high school.. If a “smart” kid got into an argument with a “not so smart” kid and began beating him up with knowledge, the “not so smart” kid would reply with a punch in the nose…. And that is what the “not so smart” children of the site are doing to you…. You are too educated for most of them to argue with you, so they revert back to their Neanderthal upbringings… and punch you in the nose… That is it in a nutshell… That was why I became involved in the martial arts about 25 years ago… I wanted to be able to safely play on either field… We can verbally joust or we can throw down… I am prepared for either choice…’

Me: And so you see my torture...I, too, live straddled between both world not living fully in either. The hard exterior, the soft interior...the battle that is endless between my head and my heart that finds a home here... It reminds me of the song ‘Chim Chim Cheree’ song Performed by Dick Van Dyke in Mary Poppins where the chimney sweep talk about living ‘When there's (h)ardly no day, Nor (h)ardly no night; There's things (h)alf in shadow, and   (h)alf way in light.’ Or perhaps in Memoirs of A Geisha when they say ‘To a man, geisha can only be half a wife. We are the wives of nightfall.’ ‘Geisha are not courtesans. And we are not wives. We sell our skills, not our bodies. We create another secret world, a place only of beauty…to be judged as a moving work of art.’

Him: ‘See?? They are attacking you because they cannot intellectually argue with you… If you want them to like you, post various pictures of naked women… If you want them to respect you, keep doing what you are doing…’

Michael knows the difference; perhaps he’s a far better adversary than I had given him credit for until this moment. He knows there are women who have priceless gifts and others that out of necessity have chosen or bartered the gift of softness for the respect of being important. He has asked me to mindfully chose; I'm not sure that I can.