I read this morning that rumors abound that Brad and Emily have already ended their relationship and that Monday night’s reunion was a farce. It didn’t seem that way to me, but I thought about it today and how the couples that had "made it" talked about how difficult Monday nights and Tuesday mornings were for the ultimately chosen partners to handle watching their loved one date others.
What fools. I have a cousin by marriage that had gone on one of those dating reality TV shows. She was one of the final two, and ultimately not chosen. She handled it as well as she possibly could; she liked him. When I talked to her about it, the taping of the show had ended about 6 weeks before. I told her that perhaps it wasn’t over; that perhaps he would be unhappy with his choice and come back to her. She said to me that for her, it WAS over.
I’ve questioned whether as women living in this time have we lost our dignity and humanity for the chance at celebrity or has the dating world become so shallow that we would be willing to do anything for the possibility of love. Perhaps I’ve grown older and wiser but for me, the answer is that I would not.
I had an opportunity to date someone a few weeks ago and ultimately chose not to meet him.
For about 20 years I had perfectly manicured long French polished nails. Last June I decided that I was tired of the look and cut them short and now they’re dark. I like it. My hair is darker than my natural color and there is a ring of dark purple-gray around the outside of my iris. I polish them a very dark purple—most people think that it’s black, but it’s not. There is a sort of matching of my nails, hair and eye and I like it—for as much as I liked the white and how neutral it was, the dark is equally neutral.
So I met this guy online and he asks me to meet him for drinks…and then he proceeds to ask me if I would have extensions placed on my nails prior to meeting him, because it "turned him on". I thought about it for about 10 seconds and turned down the date. He’s asked me out again since then and I told him that we had been all through this, thank you, but my answer is no.
I’ll tell you why. I had never met him, didn’t know if I liked him and here was someone who had the gall to ask me to spend the better part of a hundred bucks to “turn him on”. He wasn’t taking me to the Oscar’s… it was drinks, and that wasn’t anything close to an equal exchange. An equal exchange is the minimum I would be willing to receive from a man who hadn’t met me…but I always expect more. Had I said yes prior to meeting him I could only imagine what he would have asked me for next…maybe a three way with a dog and an donkey.
Here was a man who wasn’t careful around women; he chose to behave carelessly and I, as a woman, didn’t want to be with him because of that behavior. I’m not sure what woman would. I had another guy that I liked very much; after alot of flirting, he told me that he had the value set of a 13 year old. At least he knew himself, but at that time he wasn’t willing to change. Perhaps someday he’ll get that I desired the 43 year old man, not the 13 year old who showed up.
So I look at these women (and men) who might have found their forever love and they are foolishly squandering their chance at the reality of real love by watching a virtual courtship unfold that they have no business watching. I know that I wouldn’t have. Nothing that Brad did with any woman prior to his making a commitment to Emily is any of her business—and yet the media claims today say that what she can’t forgive Brad for, is his “cheating” with the other contestants. There wasn’t any cheating; he hadn’t yet proclaimed his love or devotion—and she certainly had not for him. Foolish women, foolish choices to bring up past behavior that had nothing to do with her. She has his heart, she has her ring; she has his intention.
He has told her by his actions that he may not be perfect, but his love for her is. Foolishly she is asking for him to go back in time and undo what he did. She isn’t allowing (as a man) for the fruit of his love to mature and take its own time to ripen. She doesn’t see the man in front of her willing to take not only her but her child into a loving relationship where he was joyfully, happily willing to step up to the plate and be everything that he could be for her to be happy, safe and secure. She doesn’t see the good in him—that give the proper encouragement and inspiration he would rise to heights that he didn’t know within himself existed to fulfill the obligation he was ready to make.
I wonder how many men like Brad become broken forever after everything he could give her wasn’t enough.
I wonder how many women walk away from a good man because their courtship wasn’t perfect and wait for the fairy tale, while their “sell-by” date begins to expire.
When I look at it from the outside, men, real men, grown men ask so little of women that they love. They live to give to her. They live to make her happy and all they ask for from a woman is the chance to do so; to prove themselves worthy of her love.
What fools. I have a cousin by marriage that had gone on one of those dating reality TV shows. She was one of the final two, and ultimately not chosen. She handled it as well as she possibly could; she liked him. When I talked to her about it, the taping of the show had ended about 6 weeks before. I told her that perhaps it wasn’t over; that perhaps he would be unhappy with his choice and come back to her. She said to me that for her, it WAS over.
I’ve questioned whether as women living in this time have we lost our dignity and humanity for the chance at celebrity or has the dating world become so shallow that we would be willing to do anything for the possibility of love. Perhaps I’ve grown older and wiser but for me, the answer is that I would not.
I had an opportunity to date someone a few weeks ago and ultimately chose not to meet him.
For about 20 years I had perfectly manicured long French polished nails. Last June I decided that I was tired of the look and cut them short and now they’re dark. I like it. My hair is darker than my natural color and there is a ring of dark purple-gray around the outside of my iris. I polish them a very dark purple—most people think that it’s black, but it’s not. There is a sort of matching of my nails, hair and eye and I like it—for as much as I liked the white and how neutral it was, the dark is equally neutral.
So I met this guy online and he asks me to meet him for drinks…and then he proceeds to ask me if I would have extensions placed on my nails prior to meeting him, because it "turned him on". I thought about it for about 10 seconds and turned down the date. He’s asked me out again since then and I told him that we had been all through this, thank you, but my answer is no.
I’ll tell you why. I had never met him, didn’t know if I liked him and here was someone who had the gall to ask me to spend the better part of a hundred bucks to “turn him on”. He wasn’t taking me to the Oscar’s… it was drinks, and that wasn’t anything close to an equal exchange. An equal exchange is the minimum I would be willing to receive from a man who hadn’t met me…but I always expect more. Had I said yes prior to meeting him I could only imagine what he would have asked me for next…maybe a three way with a dog and an donkey.
Here was a man who wasn’t careful around women; he chose to behave carelessly and I, as a woman, didn’t want to be with him because of that behavior. I’m not sure what woman would. I had another guy that I liked very much; after alot of flirting, he told me that he had the value set of a 13 year old. At least he knew himself, but at that time he wasn’t willing to change. Perhaps someday he’ll get that I desired the 43 year old man, not the 13 year old who showed up.
So I look at these women (and men) who might have found their forever love and they are foolishly squandering their chance at the reality of real love by watching a virtual courtship unfold that they have no business watching. I know that I wouldn’t have. Nothing that Brad did with any woman prior to his making a commitment to Emily is any of her business—and yet the media claims today say that what she can’t forgive Brad for, is his “cheating” with the other contestants. There wasn’t any cheating; he hadn’t yet proclaimed his love or devotion—and she certainly had not for him. Foolish women, foolish choices to bring up past behavior that had nothing to do with her. She has his heart, she has her ring; she has his intention.
He has told her by his actions that he may not be perfect, but his love for her is. Foolishly she is asking for him to go back in time and undo what he did. She isn’t allowing (as a man) for the fruit of his love to mature and take its own time to ripen. She doesn’t see the man in front of her willing to take not only her but her child into a loving relationship where he was joyfully, happily willing to step up to the plate and be everything that he could be for her to be happy, safe and secure. She doesn’t see the good in him—that give the proper encouragement and inspiration he would rise to heights that he didn’t know within himself existed to fulfill the obligation he was ready to make.
I wonder how many men like Brad become broken forever after everything he could give her wasn’t enough.
I wonder how many women walk away from a good man because their courtship wasn’t perfect and wait for the fairy tale, while their “sell-by” date begins to expire.
When I look at it from the outside, men, real men, grown men ask so little of women that they love. They live to give to her. They live to make her happy and all they ask for from a woman is the chance to do so; to prove themselves worthy of her love.
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