I was thinking about my last post and the gifts given to the women that I have the privilege to love. A woman’s warmth, brightness, softness, understanding, playfulness, giggles, and inner joy are all her gifts. They are her individual assets to draw in and keep a man.
But I thought about assets another way this morning and that is what her assets are to a man.
Pat says there are different types of relationships, but I’m only going to discuss one—the one that I believe that given a choice, I believe most women would want, the one of a covenant. Where one partner chooses to have their thoughts respected and the other their feelings cherished. One of you chooses to be the breadwinner and one the homemaker, one is yin, and the other is yang. My choice always is to be the yin feminine energy.
When a woman acquiesces herself to a man—it is because he has offered her a good deal; her life is better off with him in it than without him. I understand this fully. He offers her the status and stability of being a wife.
Let us admit that for all of the fairy tales that we thought women’s liberation might bring us, I believe as both men and women we lost far more than we gained. We lost identity—who to “be” in the world.
There is far more social status in the world for a woman to be a wife…and even more so if she has children. The status of being a wife stands shoulders above the fiancé status, which stands shoulders above being single. I suppose the only marital status that is looked down upon is a mistress who became a wife through nothing more than a chance upgrade. That woman will always viewed down upon in thought (if not actions) with vengeance for having crossed the social line of disgrace for sleeping with another woman’s husband.
Ladies, from the time they are children work to achieve societal harmony through graces and pleasantries that a woman of less repute doesn’t abide by. Pat says that the only difference between a wife and a prostitute is the blessing; that marriage is an equitable exchange of sex for money. It’s difficult to think of it in those terms—that a man’s love is worthless to her without money or position, because it is without power—but stripping it down to its lowest common denominator, she is right.
For what we thought women’s liberation would bring us-- modernity, intellectual challenge and a power change, we couldn’t—and didn’t overcome our biology.
A man chooses a wife because she is an asset to him. He sacrifices a poly-amorous lifestyle to gain a woman-- sensual and tactile; for her beauty and meaning that she brings to his life. It is an asset to him to have the convenience of a readily available sexual partner; it is an asset of proximity to body that he wants to touch. It is an asset to have a woman bring a level of spirituality into a man’s life that he doesn’t have without her. It is an asset to have her social the ties of entertaining abilities and family. It is an asset to chose to mate at a young age instead of having a life where he as a man is too old, too tired or too inconvenienced to bring children into the world-- and live long enough, healthfully enough to have loved both his children and grandchildren. Progeny brings its own rewards.
Lust propels a man--period. Desire is the intangible force that breaths a life of its own into a deep seeded quest to be made real. Desire is bridge between you and that which you know is greater than you are alone. Desire is fed from the ego and impossible to ignore; you cannot help but surrender to it as it envelopes you. Desire is instinct; men are hunters and women nothing more than prey—creatures for which a man needs a challenge to fight for, to struggle for against adversity, to compete for, to conquer and ultimately capture. Giving is masculine; it is his instinct to give. Every man he must decide for himself whether or not to pursue a particular woman. It is in his biology. Suddenly, he heads to the gym, he gets into a fight. He hones his physical skills in order to do battle with other men for the most desirable women.
But, ultimately, a man must lead a woman into trusting him. He must do the work to entice her into liking him. He must court a woman into a committed relationship with him.
When a man chooses a woman, she becomes “the one” as matter of her not comparing to any other. She’s “the one” every moment of every day by virtue of his shear will—she’s the one because he said so; end of conversation. She’s the one when a man believes that giving to her, protecting her and cherishing her are his sole responsibility. He cannot help himself; he is helpless to do anything less than to love her in that way. He does what he needs to in order to make her dreams, her happiness a reality.
I’m smiling writing this remembering Lisa’s wedding last October. When her father made his toast, he turned to his son in law and said as of midnight, my fiscal year ended, she’s now your responsibility; and with that took out a scissor and cut up Lisa’s credit cards. We all laughed, but at its core, how true that statement was. Here was a man (Marc) who took care of a woman (his daughter Lisa) that he loved. He gave that preciousness to the care of another man who proved himself worthy by his actions of being equally capable of taking care of the woman that HE (Jonathan) loved. I wish I lived in a time when a man would ask for a woman’s hand from her father and it would be granted only after much financial and emotional consideration. It was easier that way.
But I thought about assets another way this morning and that is what her assets are to a man.
Pat says there are different types of relationships, but I’m only going to discuss one—the one that I believe that given a choice, I believe most women would want, the one of a covenant. Where one partner chooses to have their thoughts respected and the other their feelings cherished. One of you chooses to be the breadwinner and one the homemaker, one is yin, and the other is yang. My choice always is to be the yin feminine energy.
When a woman acquiesces herself to a man—it is because he has offered her a good deal; her life is better off with him in it than without him. I understand this fully. He offers her the status and stability of being a wife.
Let us admit that for all of the fairy tales that we thought women’s liberation might bring us, I believe as both men and women we lost far more than we gained. We lost identity—who to “be” in the world.
There is far more social status in the world for a woman to be a wife…and even more so if she has children. The status of being a wife stands shoulders above the fiancé status, which stands shoulders above being single. I suppose the only marital status that is looked down upon is a mistress who became a wife through nothing more than a chance upgrade. That woman will always viewed down upon in thought (if not actions) with vengeance for having crossed the social line of disgrace for sleeping with another woman’s husband.
Ladies, from the time they are children work to achieve societal harmony through graces and pleasantries that a woman of less repute doesn’t abide by. Pat says that the only difference between a wife and a prostitute is the blessing; that marriage is an equitable exchange of sex for money. It’s difficult to think of it in those terms—that a man’s love is worthless to her without money or position, because it is without power—but stripping it down to its lowest common denominator, she is right.
For what we thought women’s liberation would bring us-- modernity, intellectual challenge and a power change, we couldn’t—and didn’t overcome our biology.
A man chooses a wife because she is an asset to him. He sacrifices a poly-amorous lifestyle to gain a woman-- sensual and tactile; for her beauty and meaning that she brings to his life. It is an asset to him to have the convenience of a readily available sexual partner; it is an asset of proximity to body that he wants to touch. It is an asset to have a woman bring a level of spirituality into a man’s life that he doesn’t have without her. It is an asset to have her social the ties of entertaining abilities and family. It is an asset to chose to mate at a young age instead of having a life where he as a man is too old, too tired or too inconvenienced to bring children into the world-- and live long enough, healthfully enough to have loved both his children and grandchildren. Progeny brings its own rewards.
Lust propels a man--period. Desire is the intangible force that breaths a life of its own into a deep seeded quest to be made real. Desire is bridge between you and that which you know is greater than you are alone. Desire is fed from the ego and impossible to ignore; you cannot help but surrender to it as it envelopes you. Desire is instinct; men are hunters and women nothing more than prey—creatures for which a man needs a challenge to fight for, to struggle for against adversity, to compete for, to conquer and ultimately capture. Giving is masculine; it is his instinct to give. Every man he must decide for himself whether or not to pursue a particular woman. It is in his biology. Suddenly, he heads to the gym, he gets into a fight. He hones his physical skills in order to do battle with other men for the most desirable women.
But, ultimately, a man must lead a woman into trusting him. He must do the work to entice her into liking him. He must court a woman into a committed relationship with him.
When a man chooses a woman, she becomes “the one” as matter of her not comparing to any other. She’s “the one” every moment of every day by virtue of his shear will—she’s the one because he said so; end of conversation. She’s the one when a man believes that giving to her, protecting her and cherishing her are his sole responsibility. He cannot help himself; he is helpless to do anything less than to love her in that way. He does what he needs to in order to make her dreams, her happiness a reality.
I’m smiling writing this remembering Lisa’s wedding last October. When her father made his toast, he turned to his son in law and said as of midnight, my fiscal year ended, she’s now your responsibility; and with that took out a scissor and cut up Lisa’s credit cards. We all laughed, but at its core, how true that statement was. Here was a man (Marc) who took care of a woman (his daughter Lisa) that he loved. He gave that preciousness to the care of another man who proved himself worthy by his actions of being equally capable of taking care of the woman that HE (Jonathan) loved. I wish I lived in a time when a man would ask for a woman’s hand from her father and it would be granted only after much financial and emotional consideration. It was easier that way.
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