I'm sorry that you didn't take my advice and ended up contacting your ex regarding his facebook "friending" his ex-girlfriend. As you see, it didn't end well.
By downloading pictures of the guy you are currently seeing onto your facebook account, you're in essence flaunting that you've moved on with your life in front of your ex. To then ask him why he is in contact with his ex makes you look bitchy, petty and jealous. His response to you was "lol" and "that you are all over your new guy in every picture".
I understand that it is difficult to see him talking about other girls and getting hammered. It is equally as painful for him to see you dating other guy. That's why I advised you to "unfriend" him. Not because you don't still like your ex, but because you do. You unfriend an ex because it's painful for you to watch him move on with his life without you.
If you get to move on with your life, he gets to move on with his--period. As a single guy, he has every right to be in contact with whomever he wants; again, it's just best for YOU not to see his every move in his day to day life. Do you understand the difference? By trying to protect him from her is about asking him to change his behavior--by unfriending him and not contacting him, you are changing yours.
Yes, you can be pissed that he's being a jackass and you can do what ever you want with your camera; and he can be pissed that you're taking pics of other guys with the camera he bought, but your saying that "if he didn't want me taking pics of other guys he shouldn't have dumped me" makes YOU look like you're instigating and picking a fight with him on grounds that you no longer have--you are no longer his girlfriend.
And truthfully, even if you were his girlfriend, we'd have a conversation about whether or not that was appropriate...because I'm not sure that you have the right to be bitching even if you were his girlfriend. Your behavior looks like it's coming from a jealous place; this looks like you're playing games with him since when he asked for you to come back and be his girlfriend again, you said no.
I'm not telling you not to post pics of a new guy that you're dating, I'm telling you to make a smaller circle of your closest friends and close it that circle tight.
Some years ago, I had a mentor say that to me and it took me a few mintutes to figure out what she was saying.
Most people don't know that the real estate field is incredibly cut throat and at every move, you're swimming with sharks. Twice, I had so called friends try to screw me out of deals; the first one I was able to manover around and made about thrity five thousand in forty minutes. The second deal which would have been worth millions, disappeared.
I later found out that the person who was my supposed best friend at the time was actually stabbing me in the back. This person, with whom I had openly shared all of my real estate knowledge and my life was stabbing me, until I discovered the truth. She learned about this multi-million dollar deal on my birthday. She came over to bring me flowers on my birthday. We talked for hours--defenses down. She wanted my deals--and ultimately my money more than she wanted my friendship. I learned in that moment to cut ties quickly no matter how painful.
In talking to my mentor, she told me that there was a magic in me that my girlfriend didn't have and that no one could steal that--but to be far more careful about who I let in. In telling to me to close my circle what she was saying was no one gets in, no one gets out. And I've never partnered with anyone again in doing a deal. I also had to learn to mentor far less, although I have always hand chosen who I will or won't mentor. I suppose I could teach less than ALL of my knowledge; but I tend to be an all or nothing kind of woman.
In the real estate clubs that I belonged to it was part of the atmosphere of the club that we all talked about our deals openly. In polite society, it's rude to ask someone how much money they made flipping a piece of property--there, we all talked proudly about it without any malice or jealousy. I would have never believed that she would have done that to me, until she did.
After that betrayal, I had to learn NOT to talk about my deals. If my best friend couldn't be trusted, no one could.
I know this is difficult with your being young and having hundreds of facebook friends, but I'm asking you to close your circle. Who are you REALLY friends with that you can trust not to talk to your ex about what you are doing and with whom? Who can you unfriend because they really aren't a part the parts of your life where you need the most trust? How did you ex know that you "unfriended" him? Prune your weeds.
Or, you have to learn to be far more private about what you post on facebook--the choice is yours, but what you're doing is causing youself pain that can easily be avoided by modifying your behavior.
My suggestion to you right now is to clean up your side of the street by telling him that the only reason that you had asked him was out of a genuine concern for his welfare because you knew how much she had hurt him in the past, but of course, he has every right to form whatever relationships are best and then wish him peace in return for the peace he offered you.
I know that you are angry that after all of this last night he dropped whatever things of yours he had off to your house without telling you, but again, this was your doing. Had you not been in contact with him, this fight would not have happened. Be a lady, send him a thank you for dropping off your stuff. Be grateful he didn't throw it away like he did he previous girlfriends. You know his behavior regarding his ex's and her stuff. This is how he behaves, this wasn't news to you.
As painful as it is, you need to move on with your life as if he is no longer a part of it. This is a lesson for you to have learned; the only person who's behavior you can change is your own.
And, as always, sperm chases egg.
By downloading pictures of the guy you are currently seeing onto your facebook account, you're in essence flaunting that you've moved on with your life in front of your ex. To then ask him why he is in contact with his ex makes you look bitchy, petty and jealous. His response to you was "lol" and "that you are all over your new guy in every picture".
I understand that it is difficult to see him talking about other girls and getting hammered. It is equally as painful for him to see you dating other guy. That's why I advised you to "unfriend" him. Not because you don't still like your ex, but because you do. You unfriend an ex because it's painful for you to watch him move on with his life without you.
If you get to move on with your life, he gets to move on with his--period. As a single guy, he has every right to be in contact with whomever he wants; again, it's just best for YOU not to see his every move in his day to day life. Do you understand the difference? By trying to protect him from her is about asking him to change his behavior--by unfriending him and not contacting him, you are changing yours.
Yes, you can be pissed that he's being a jackass and you can do what ever you want with your camera; and he can be pissed that you're taking pics of other guys with the camera he bought, but your saying that "if he didn't want me taking pics of other guys he shouldn't have dumped me" makes YOU look like you're instigating and picking a fight with him on grounds that you no longer have--you are no longer his girlfriend.
And truthfully, even if you were his girlfriend, we'd have a conversation about whether or not that was appropriate...because I'm not sure that you have the right to be bitching even if you were his girlfriend. Your behavior looks like it's coming from a jealous place; this looks like you're playing games with him since when he asked for you to come back and be his girlfriend again, you said no.
I'm not telling you not to post pics of a new guy that you're dating, I'm telling you to make a smaller circle of your closest friends and close it that circle tight.
Some years ago, I had a mentor say that to me and it took me a few mintutes to figure out what she was saying.
Most people don't know that the real estate field is incredibly cut throat and at every move, you're swimming with sharks. Twice, I had so called friends try to screw me out of deals; the first one I was able to manover around and made about thrity five thousand in forty minutes. The second deal which would have been worth millions, disappeared.
I later found out that the person who was my supposed best friend at the time was actually stabbing me in the back. This person, with whom I had openly shared all of my real estate knowledge and my life was stabbing me, until I discovered the truth. She learned about this multi-million dollar deal on my birthday. She came over to bring me flowers on my birthday. We talked for hours--defenses down. She wanted my deals--and ultimately my money more than she wanted my friendship. I learned in that moment to cut ties quickly no matter how painful.
In talking to my mentor, she told me that there was a magic in me that my girlfriend didn't have and that no one could steal that--but to be far more careful about who I let in. In telling to me to close my circle what she was saying was no one gets in, no one gets out. And I've never partnered with anyone again in doing a deal. I also had to learn to mentor far less, although I have always hand chosen who I will or won't mentor. I suppose I could teach less than ALL of my knowledge; but I tend to be an all or nothing kind of woman.
In the real estate clubs that I belonged to it was part of the atmosphere of the club that we all talked about our deals openly. In polite society, it's rude to ask someone how much money they made flipping a piece of property--there, we all talked proudly about it without any malice or jealousy. I would have never believed that she would have done that to me, until she did.
After that betrayal, I had to learn NOT to talk about my deals. If my best friend couldn't be trusted, no one could.
I know this is difficult with your being young and having hundreds of facebook friends, but I'm asking you to close your circle. Who are you REALLY friends with that you can trust not to talk to your ex about what you are doing and with whom? Who can you unfriend because they really aren't a part the parts of your life where you need the most trust? How did you ex know that you "unfriended" him? Prune your weeds.
Or, you have to learn to be far more private about what you post on facebook--the choice is yours, but what you're doing is causing youself pain that can easily be avoided by modifying your behavior.
My suggestion to you right now is to clean up your side of the street by telling him that the only reason that you had asked him was out of a genuine concern for his welfare because you knew how much she had hurt him in the past, but of course, he has every right to form whatever relationships are best and then wish him peace in return for the peace he offered you.
I know that you are angry that after all of this last night he dropped whatever things of yours he had off to your house without telling you, but again, this was your doing. Had you not been in contact with him, this fight would not have happened. Be a lady, send him a thank you for dropping off your stuff. Be grateful he didn't throw it away like he did he previous girlfriends. You know his behavior regarding his ex's and her stuff. This is how he behaves, this wasn't news to you.
As painful as it is, you need to move on with your life as if he is no longer a part of it. This is a lesson for you to have learned; the only person who's behavior you can change is your own.
And, as always, sperm chases egg.
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